So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
barbara walters just said penis...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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