4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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