and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize