In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
