well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
