How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
