If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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