if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
If I die, sorry about rent.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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