i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
