Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
