I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
You can't special order awesome
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
