And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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