I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
