Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
