Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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