can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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