Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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