Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
