I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
