Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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