You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
dude. I can hear the air.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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