Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
