You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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