just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
