Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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