Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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