The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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