If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
