just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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