with your own penis?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
