two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
