How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
