i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
