Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
