That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
