no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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