So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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