u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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