shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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