Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
