no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My cat gives me a boner
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
In other news, I just burned my penis
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
