Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
