He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
