We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
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I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
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I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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