Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize