I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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