my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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