so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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