worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING