I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.