Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  I feel great

  (650): View more from California

  I just peed on a car

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  (650): I feel great (650): I just peed on a car http://tfl.nu/eq9k
  Replies (8) Good night (2784) Bad night (509)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.

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  (604): I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone. http://tfl.nu/1vtw
  Replies (2) Good night (462) Bad night (1953) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.

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  (703): Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick. http://tfl.nu/xski
  Replies (15) Good night (456) Bad night (3440) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  so I ended up banging her last night

  (1-414): View more from Wisconsin

  dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i don't even remember

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  (414): so I ended up banging her last night (1-414): dude I remember her. You sure it was a her? (414): i don't even remember http://tfl.nu/73hr
  Replies (8) Good night (756) Bad night (3567)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.

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  (781): I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation. http://tfl.nu/r77c
  Replies (19) Good night (4999) Bad night (1152) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.

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  (651): All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow. http://tfl.nu/8b4m
  Replies (13) Good night (8584) Bad night (1134) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins

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  (507): Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins http://tfl.nu/hk0d
  Replies (12) Good night (5592) Bad night (1003) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number

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  (248): Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number http://tfl.nu/nl2y
  Replies (20) Good night (6480) Bad night (969) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly

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  (619): there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly http://tfl.nu/smco
  Replies (6) Good night (784) Bad night (3545) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall

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  (313): remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall http://tfl.nu/brex
  Replies (11) Good night (4210) Bad night (793) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed

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  (701): She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed http://tfl.nu/42qb
  Replies (6) Good night (3607) Bad night (628) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth

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  (+44): I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth http://tfl.nu/v9jy
  Replies (10) Good night (1391) Bad night (910) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.

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  (617): I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area. http://tfl.nu/k7xx
  Replies (4) Good night (1220) Bad night (1190)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.

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  (732): Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train. http://tfl.nu/hytn
  Replies (4) Good night (773) Bad night (335) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5

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  (605): Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5 http://tfl.nu/9kam
  Replies (3) Good night (955) Bad night (197)

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