where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Boobs speak an international language.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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