The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
