I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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