Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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