i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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