Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
im holly from the hills drunk
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
