you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize