Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Randomize
