I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
