im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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