She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
