you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
