I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
