Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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