that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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